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Strange Dream

To be honest, I wanted to post this the other day.  I had a dream that I went to an AHL game and just so happened to be sitting next to Robin Zander and Rick Nielsen both fantastic artists from the fabulous band Cheap Trick.  I was with H and we had a great time, the game was a blast!  We joked around and told, well listened to, stories and such throughout the game.  I know that they are from that town so it was fitting that was the setting.  I am also a huge hockey fan so that combined with the fact that I added Cheap Trick to one of my pandora stations and a lot of songs have been being played lately, it all makes sense that they ended up in my dream.  After the game we were about to leave but it was snowing and my car is rear wheel drive and H and I were asking where would be a good place to find a hotel that was not shady so we didn't have to drive far and on highways in the snow.  The guys said that we could just go back with them and stay at their place.  So we follow them into a Del Web retirement gated community and pull up to one of the smallest houses.  Never in my wildest dreams (yes I intended the irony) would I picture or consider either of them to be "old" they still rock out and are awesomely relevant.  We go in thinking maybe we are stopping by to pick someone els up or something, anything.  Nope they are living together in a small two bedroom only one common area that barely fits a sofa and kitchen table house.  As the couch was pulled out, both H and I start to try to think of somewhere else to go or be.  It reminded me of either old episodes of the odd couple, or a light version of Grumpy Old Men.  The night turned out to be hell, going to bed by 11 and having to be quiet, sleeping on the thin pull out mattress with the metal support rods underneath.  All this only to be woken up at 5am by grinding of coffee beans, finding out that they wanted to get up before the sun rose to be able to watch for the birds near the feeder....

VERY STRANGE DREAM

I Know it's been awhile

So, 

Yes, I know it has been a long time but in my defense, I am now working a second job.  Reason being that teenagers are expensive.  Particularly ones who do not have jobs and both drive... What was supposed to be 15-20 hours a week was 27 hours and 5 days last week.  On days I work both jobs, I go from one to another with 30 minutes in between and then close at the other, making it a 15 hour day.  I am not 22 anymore so that means double shifts are hard.  Oh yeah... they suck too.  But to do it for my kids, well that makes it worth it. If it helps them get more college paid for by them being able to have more time to dedicate themselves to a sport or activity, in addition to their schoolwork, then so be it.  Life has been pretty exhausting lately, painful and achey also.  I am at job one and wish I had a pillow to lay my head on my desk with to nap for a bit.  Problem is, job two starts at 3:30 and then goes until 10.  I most likely will be asleep by 10:30...

I know it's been a bit.....but cats and sinus infections and well just gross shit awaits you if you dare to read....

Things have just been crazy, too crazy to even think or wallow as usual.  We just got 2 new cats that were once feral and they have spayed/neutered them, microchipped them, and now they will be my mouse hunters.  They are actually really sweet cats.  I don't know if its the Dr Doolittle in me but I have always been able to pick up strays, approach "dangerous watch dogs" and have never once been bit or nipped.  I was the kid always coming home with something, begging to keep it.  I've had snakes, lizards, guinea pigs, rats as pets, rats for snake food, a rabbit, multiple dogs and cats at some point.  Mostly when I was a kid, though.  Since being a parent I have only had dogs and outdoor cats.  Now with that being said, I have bred dogs, and shown them- so no other time for anything else.  Plus a 5 ft iguana or a 15 ft snake aren't very kid friendly.  Other than having a bad (and by bad I mean my molars hurt and light is causing migraines) sinus infection I have been better.  Due to that I am not going to ramble along.  Last night I had a nose bleed from the sinus infection, I know not what usually happens, for over an hour.  Without going into details... wait you don't know me so fuck it.... details!  I went through 2 paper towels, 2 wads of TP and about 5 kleenexes.  Twice when I pulled whatever out to check, I pulled HUGE blot/snot clots out that were so big and gross I had to show H just so I had a witness.  Speaking of H, H and I have somewhat agreed regarding finances, he just gave up and realized that I check the balance on my phone before making a purchase, and no I will not log a $3 charge at McD's in the checkbook.  

So here I sit.... waiting for the doctor to call me back because the antibiotic they gave me is doing nothing.  Nothing!  The last time it was this bad they gave me 2 z-packs which did nothing, then sent me to an ENT.  I tried to explain that in the past I had to be given Cipro to get rid of the bad ones, but since the doctor I have had since 16 moved to Wisconsin, I was now seeing her former partner.  I like her but she does not know the depths of my medical history.  Let's just say after diabetes at 18, 2 very high risk diabetic pregnancies, cancer,  lots of surgeries to remove cysts.  Maybe I'll elaborate on the roadmap that is my abdomen after all this crap tomorrow, so come back for that explanation.  Also car crashes only one my fault, but not really since my insulin pump malfunctioned.  And So on and so on.  I have 4 full files and am about to have to start my 5th.  She had only been seeing me for about 6 months so no Cipro.  ENT did not believe it was sinus infection since no fever.  I don't get fevers often and my normal body temp is always around the mid to upper 96.somethings.  Reason 1 why I hate super hot summertime so much.  For me if I hit 99.0 that's a fever, but they never see it that way.  I told them that but no meds- he prescribes an MRI to see what the real issue is.  So I wait 4-5 days to get the MRI done, then another 4-5 days to see him, of course he is only at the office by my house 2 days a week..... Pure Awesomeness!!! So as I am in the room, he pulls out the report, of course for the first time.  If he would have looked at it for a minute when it got back and was sent over, or actually upstairs, yeah same building....  He could have saved us both time and me a lot of pain if he would have opened the envelope.  He holds it up to the light and says "Wow! That's an infection!"  DUH "Not so much your upper sinuses but you lower sinuses are horribly impacted, I surprised you don't look more swollen." 

GRRRR  DUH!!! 

He re reads my chart and writes an Rx for, you guessed it, Cipro. 

Does any doctor think that I would want this for something simple?  It destroys all the good bacteria in your whole system, digestive and female... and then medicine is needed for that.  Please can you give me an antibiotic that will make it impossible to be more than 3 steps away from the toilet.  Yeah thanks that will help with this cold that I have.....

Still waiting... Feel like death!!!

Had some hectic times..... Warning:venting below

So Monday no power- transformer exploded- awesome then they fixed that and a pole caught fire.  

Oy Vey..

So H said that what he did was childish and uncalled for but he just needed to get away.  Whatever, I had a horrible weekend and I am still sore from all the yard work and crap that I did.  With that being said, I have been asking for my fence to be fixed for months.  The beginning of the year two of the four screws that latch the fence, or should I say hold the latch to the fence door portion have come out because the end of that piece of wood going across the fence gate is starting to separate.  Now I bought a much larger and sturdier piece of cedar and asked if he could replace it.  I also got a portion of cedar to go on the outside of the gate where the latch is so that he can drill through the fence and place 4 bolts with washers and nuts to secure this latch.  

We are now down to one screw holding the gate on to the fence.  The fence is 8 years old and I have replaced the hinges and latches in the past to have very secure and sturdy hardware.  I would compare them to barn door hinges and such.  The bolts and washers and all that are 8 inches long so they would pass through whatever the thickness is.  Problem is, I want the old rotting wood removed and replaced then the new wood attached to the fence slats on the gate and have the gate secured.  Sigh He said he would do this months ago then I got him to commit to Monday and it is still not done.  I have 2 boulders holding the gate in place so that the animals do not get out.  So frustrating.  I am tempted to call the fence company and have them fix it and have him pay the bill.  I get that it has been raining on and off but Sunday night and Monday it was nice and could have been completed.

On another note D1 needs a wake up call- she needs a job.  Not a little seasonal, I think I can get a job at a costume store 2 weeks before halloween job.  She needs to do grunt work.  I am sick of her doing the minimum to get by.  Example when asked to put the food away please at least soak the pots if there was stuff cooked in them and wipe down the counter.  I would think being a senior in HS- these things are pretty obvious, but no....

I suspect that I will not see him until Monday

So seeing that H told me he had stuff set up through Sunday, I suspect he will not be home until late Monday.  I was thinking the last time I was happy was during my affair.  It was not a truly honest happy, but it felt like it.  I felt loved and desired, cherished, wanted.  I don't see that happening again. It was wrong, I realize now why I did it but it did not solve the problem.  I was not whisked off by a knight in a shiny sports car, rescued from my life of hurt.  The hurt was still there.

Ugh

So the only response that I got to my text asking why I didn't know he was going away for a weekend, was that he did not want to say anything mean.  I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for the next, I don't even know for how long.  I can't remember the last time I was truly happy and didn't have to force a smile.