Then the rest.....
H told 2 that he did not make her pay for homecoming but he put $20 in her savings account. Then that turned into him yelling and her getting upset and running to her room crying. I went in to hug her and tell her that it was not my intention to make it into a fight but to show her that he did not only make her pay for HC. We hugged and snuggled for some time then she went to bed.
I was in bed upset and can't remember what he said but told him not to worry because he will be able to move on soon enough. Kind of gave him an overview of my plans but nothing specific. Told him that I was so tired of hurting and just wanted it to be over. He mentioned how I give more affection to the dogs than I do him, I answered honestly that's because the give it back. He tried to hug and snuggle with me all night even though when he did it made me cry. Mostly because it did not feel sincere. I told him I would wait until the right time and I would make sure the girls are secure and since D1 won't really care anyway, I will do everything I can to make sure that D2 understands and that I leave appropriate hand written notebooks to my close family.
Part of me thinks that I have distanced myself from my friends, my BFF in particular so it worn't hurt them as much. That's my only concern is that ending my pain may cause this same lifelong pain for others..........
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