So hurt

I feel so hurt, I texted H and told him that I could not believe that he did not tell me what he had planned.  I also asked the girls if they knew and they did.  I just want to be loved.  I just want someone to hug me in a way that is not forced.  I want to be held in a way that makes me melt into that person.  Don't I deserve to be loved?  I am so hurt, I want the pain to go away.  I have always wanted the fairy tale.  I know that there is no such thing as a fairy tale ending.  I just did not expect as much as despair and hurt that I feel.  I feel that I have become so beaten down by anger and yelling.